Orlando Soup Kitchen Opens For Realtors

In the face of the current housing bust, Orlando City Council is setting up a soup kitchen for the town’s starving real estate agents. Several varieties of soup including Chicken Noodle and Leek & Potato, will be available all over the hoiday period from December 20th until the New Year. In order to qualify, Orlando Real Estate agents need to show that they have earned zero commissions in the preceeding quarter and / or are facing foreclosure on their own properties due to the “correction” in the market.

“It’s just amazing,” said Angie Binow of ShitCreek Realty. “I thought I was going to have to stand on the street with a sign saying ‘Will write contracts for food’ but thanks to the City, I know that over Christmas, I mean the Holidays, me and my Cocker Spaniels won’t go hungry.”

A spokesperson for the Orlando City Council said: “It’s the least we could do for our Realtors who have worked so hard promoting the new downtown area. But the truth is, agents are hurting all over the country, not just in Florida. Our thoughts go out to them at this time of family — and we hope that other cities will follow our example by starting their own “Feed a Realtor” programs.”

A spokesperson for The National Association of Realtors (NAR) said that they just wished the City would stop referring to ALL sales agents as “Realtors.”

“Not all sales agents are Realtors(R),” said Alan Jobsworthy. “A Realtor(R) is a trademarked term that describes members of our Association. Actually our research suggests that Realtors(R) are 35% less likely to go hungry than your commonal garden agent.”

Polls show that in the midst of their ordeal, public sympathy for real estate agents has increased. The latest poll shows a two point climb from their previous position below Car Salesman to just above Attorneys.

For more information, call: Orlando City Council at: 1-800-NoBubble.

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